Love yourself first and everything else falls in line. – Lucille Ball
I know the title itself is a cliché, but this phrase is something that most people forget on the daily basis because they are so busy of improving themselves, JUST TO BE LIKED BY OTHERS. They constantly compromise themselves just to FIT IN and not knowing that in the long run they are becoming destructive to themselves and eventually builds up resentment on those people whom they are pleasing. Please don’t get me wrong, being thoughtful and helping others is definitely not a bad thing, but what I am trying to say is building a great relationship with yourself first would be very beneficial for you and if you keep practicing it, trust me everything will certainly fall in to place.
Back then, I kept compromising myself, that then lead to people taking advantage of me and worse, stepping all over me. I thought I was such a shit of a person for not being “enough”. I felt like a helpless victim. Not until I realized that it was me who actually lead myself to such experiences simply because I wasn’t being true to myself. These people can sense the “fume” of resentment around me but they know I won’t fuzz around and so they thought they had me by the neck and continued to abuse me. And then woop! one day the pressure was too much to hold on and I unexpectedly snapped and everything just exploded and damaged everyone! you could just imagine. However with such release comes an awareness that hiding your true emotions can indeed create a powerful wrecking. And so after that. I have decided to practice releasing my true thoughts and emotions in a healthy manner, at least not explosive this time. At first, the release was so scary and draining that it literally affects everyone within the surrounding, but that’s fine. In my case, have been releasing very disturbing posts on my fb timeline. I was still passive aggressive but at least I was able to release it on the exact timeline, like on spot. I noticed that with such a healthy release, I was able to let go of that resentment and anger right away. It’s like forgetting the upset into a thin air within minutes. Throughout the process, I may have lost people along the way, but they are not necessarily losses for they were never intended to stay in my life forever, just some passerby giving lessons. And again, that’s fine. As long as those people who really mattered are still there, alive and kicking. Social life changed for the better.
Aside from learning to be open about your true emotions and thoughts, it is also important to learn doing the things you truly love without the fear of prejudices of other people. If you know that the things you love could not harm other people’s lives, then you’re good. If you let the society pressure you to do the things you despise, then that is pretty much a recipe to self-destruction. Even we live busy lives, have some time for your “happy moment”, as such practice will give balance within yourself. It’s like taking in the daily pressures at work then defusing it by enjoying your own time with the things you love. As for me, the experience of forcing myself to venture the corporate world definitely became destructive, both physically and mentally. I never liked the corporate world. The setting was too stressful and stifling for me and it was totally a threat to the most important thing of my being, “freedom”. This pretense certainly kept going, like a deadly cycle, making me transfer from company to company until one day, again, I exploded out of nowhere, fcking up everyone. The chaos suddenly gave me this significant awareness and so after that I decided to never go back on that path. I suddenly realized that no matter how prestigious the company you’re in or how much compensation they can give you, if you’re not fit in there, you will never strive. I have always known that freelancing and being my own boss was my path as it gave me a better sense of peace and contentment. I finally felt free for the first time, after struggles of being confined at school and work. So as to this, always follow how you feel and mesh it up with your rational thinking. Think what you really wanted to do and work hard on that to achieve it. The fulfillment is so freakin’ priceless! You will surely be your happiest!
Lastly, I know most of you have been suffering from all sorts of relationships. Issues with family, friends and lovers. I know it is difficult, especially when it involves family members or closest friends, but hey you have the choice to either lower yourself for them or be yourself but give them the same respect and freedom to be themselves as well? If these people constantly control or dominate you to succumb to their wants and they end up disregarding your needs, then I am afraid it’s best to ditch these people! DITCH! DITCH! DITCH! You don’t need toxic people in your life! You are too precious to be stressed over people that doesn’t even deserve your best.
But what if…
You find your family keep disagreeing with you and constantly putting you down?
- Then it’s best to be detached to them, if not physically, at least mentally and emotionally. Don’t take their words seriously. Just let it pass by. For me, it’s so far the best advice since it’s not basically easy to dispatch them. It works like magic.
What if its a close friend that has been stabbing you at the back?
- Another one, if friends stab you at the back, ditch those bitches too! You don’t need another trash baggage in your life. Friends like that are a real downer and certainly a distraction to your life path. Their low sense of self is not your fault, it’s theirs. They are not your responsibility and you have no time for people who can’t grow with you. Meet and befriend new like-minded individuals and have the same level of growth as you; they give you the best advice and can certainly be keepers.
But what if it’s a Lover?
- Got a toxic, insecure and controlling lover? Leave that motherfudger. If you find your self being imprisoned by them, for example by not allowing you to hang out with friends or not respecting your space or they won’t allow you to play your favorite pc games or perhaps they call you names when you do things you like such as labeling you as a substandard when you wear make-up or they certainly don’t want you to look your best because they don’t want you to outshine them, then clearly that person doesn’t love you but only aims to dominate you. They drain your well-being and if you don’t get out, you will certainly end up being destroyed. Don’t waste your beautiful self over a filthy douche and a cheap-ass barbie.
Because people who truly loves you will never knock you down and will always respect and accept you for what you are. And this same goes to you giving the same treatment to them. If both parties learn to give love and understanding for each other, then the relationship will flourish and there will be no unnecessary problems.
At the end of this post, I encourage you all to please give yourself some respect, accept it and love it with all your heart. Do not compromise yourself and do not eat crap for anyone either way. Learn to fight for yourself and do not allow anyone to ever step a foot at you. Be strong for yourself. Learn to live on your own and be in a relationship with it. Once you learn to love yourself enough, that’s the time you could afford to give back same love for yourself to others. BE BOLD! BE WILD! BE FREE! BE HAPPY! BE JOLLIBEE!